am i really strong?

I like to make myself and other people think that i am a completely strong individual. i like to show that i have everything under control, nothing can get to me. i have gone through so much in my life, and i am still always fine. i have to remain that way for myself and for my family. in some ways, i believe i am mama's rock, the one who holds her together. i have a younger sister to watch after, make sure she doesnt stray down the wrong road. but honestly, am i really a strong person. am i really weak because i put on a mask and lie to everyone around me, to myself. i dont show that things bother me when they really do. at times i just want to buckle over and cry, let everything out. i just want to lie there and have nothing to do. i could cry if i wanted, think, re-evaluate things, or just sleep. just let go of stress for just a moment. so, does this really make me weak. i dont fall back God like i should. i dont let Him control my life the way i should. i want to know i have everything under control, i want to know just what is going to happen next. so, does all of this make me weak?